{"id":12849,"date":"2025-11-29T11:18:30","date_gmt":"2025-11-29T19:18:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/?p=12849"},"modified":"2025-11-30T18:43:11","modified_gmt":"2025-12-01T02:43:11","slug":"its-been-a-long-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/?p=12849","title":{"rendered":"It&#8217;s Been A Long Time (rev)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>I get to write whatever the fuck I want these daze.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;ve been thinking a lot about words; language; expression.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"819\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/IMG_2107-819x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-12876\" srcset=\"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/IMG_2107-819x1024.jpg 819w, https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/IMG_2107-240x300.jpg 240w, https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/IMG_2107-768x960.jpg 768w, https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/IMG_2107.jpg 1080w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 819px) 100vw, 819px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-audio\"><audio controls src=\"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/defx.mp3\"><\/audio><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Courtney Barnett; &#8216;Dead Fox&#8217;<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>The other night, I made sounds that resembled song; harmony; pitch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For just a few seconds, I let myself be in the moment. It felt good. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">&#8212;ooOoo&#8212;<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"786\" src=\"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/onee-1024x786.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-12885\" srcset=\"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/onee-1024x786.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/onee-300x230.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/onee-768x590.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/onee.jpeg 1477w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">&#8212;ooOoo&#8212;<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"742\" src=\"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/twoo-1024x742.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-12887\" srcset=\"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/twoo-1024x742.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/twoo-300x217.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/twoo-768x556.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/twoo-1536x1113.jpeg 1536w, https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/twoo.jpeg 1561w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"818\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/img_3693_57.jpeg-818x1024.webp\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-12865\" srcset=\"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/img_3693_57.jpeg-818x1024.webp 818w, https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/img_3693_57.jpeg-240x300.webp 240w, https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/img_3693_57.jpeg-768x961.webp 768w, https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/img_3693_57.jpeg.webp 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 818px) 100vw, 818px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-audio\"><audio controls src=\"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/homo.mp3\"><\/audio><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Lenny Bruce; &#8216;Homosexuality&#8217;<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">&#8220;Take away the right to say &#8216;fuck&#8217; and you take away the right to say &#8216;fuck the government.'&#8221; &#8212;Lenny Bruce<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">&#8212;ooOoo&#8212;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I grow tired of judgment. Tired of hearing other people explain my intentions. Intentions they know nothing about. Other&#8217;s projection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#8217;s a slippery slope. My tendency is to be alone. I prefer it. So to try and engage, then to be criticized, makes me wanna hide. To simply be alone.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"853\" src=\"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/IMG_2178-1024x853.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-12875\" srcset=\"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/IMG_2178-1024x853.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/IMG_2178-300x250.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/IMG_2178-768x640.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/IMG_2178-1536x1279.jpeg 1536w, https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/IMG_2178-2048x1705.jpeg 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-audio\"><audio controls src=\"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/hyanhs.mp3\"><\/audio><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">The Doors; &#8216;Hyacinth House (Demo Version)&#8217;<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#8217;s always the same thing. There&#8217;s a theme. Makes me feel toxic. Makes me wanna runaway. Better to avoid than to be hurt. To simply be alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I grow tired of judgment. Exhausted with analysis, with explanation, justification. Ignorant people saying ignorant things. Other&#8217;s projection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">&#8212;ooOoo&#8212;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Singing makes me think of Spanish. I used to be fluent in both, but now it pains me to try. I can hear it in my head. I&#8217;m not tone deaf, and I understand the words &#8211; but my body refuses to let it happen. Some fucking ancient strange resistance &#8211; muscles unable to move &#8211; feels totally foreign to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#8217;s not a matter of intelligence. Billy may speak five languages, but I&#8217;ve never heard Billy ever utter a fucking word worthwhile in any of them. Carl may be fiercely proficient in piano, but Carl&#8217;s just a bird parroting someone else&#8217;s work. A melodic xerox machine copying sheet music.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"341\" src=\"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/1500x500-1024x341.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-12869\" srcset=\"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/1500x500-1024x341.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/1500x500-300x100.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/1500x500-768x256.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/1500x500.jpeg 1500w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-audio\"><audio controls src=\"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/duntyo.mp3\"><\/audio><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Simple Minds; &#8216;Don&#8217;t You (Forget About Me)&#8217;<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Substance over form. Jake may be an excellent writer, but what the fuck has Jake wrote for us lately? Nuthin; and why? Dude has so much fucking material in his head. Why&#8217;s he holding out? Abbie wants to hear some sexy stories. Susan needs shit for gossip. Deb needs to get her pussy wet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;m trying. It&#8217;s been a really hard month. Strangely, it&#8217;s also been one of the most amazing months of my life. So write about it. How do you write about it? I used to lean into alcohol. Oh boy, the things we&#8217;d used to write sucking down a frozen bottle of petron. Oof &#8211; and all the strange women.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Did Jake ever write about that jag that ended in Hawaii? And fuck Hawaii &#8211; Joshua Tree was probably the worst, and we don&#8217;t even talk about that one. Then, there&#8217;s that honeymoon thing. Are we allowed to write about that one? I don&#8217;t see why not. Most surely past the statute of limitations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">*sigh*<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-audio\"><audio controls src=\"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/pupsong.mp3\"><\/audio><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Harry Nilsson; &#8216;The Puppy Song&#8217;<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I get to write whatever the fuck I want these daze. I&#8217;ve been thinking a lot about words; language; expression. The other night, I made sounds that resembled song; harmony; pitch. For just a few seconds, I let myself be in the moment. It felt good. &#8212;ooOoo&#8212; &#8212;ooOoo&#8212; &#8220;Take away the right to say &#8216;fuck&#8217; &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/?p=12849\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">It&#8217;s Been A Long Time (rev)<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[2932,2933,2936,156,396,2934,16,19,2552,2935,58,2937],"class_list":["post-12849","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ramblings","tag-courtney-barnett","tag-dead-fox","tag-dont-you-forget-about-me","tag-harry-nilsson","tag-hyacinth-house","tag-lenny-bruce","tag-neuroticattorney","tag-neuroticattorney-com","tag-ramblings","tag-simple-minds","tag-the-doors","tag-the-puppy-song"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12849","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12849"}],"version-history":[{"count":30,"href":"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12849\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12890,"href":"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12849\/revisions\/12890"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12849"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12849"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/neuroticattorney.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12849"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}