A boy starts to wonder: What did I do wrong? Why doesn’t she write back? How’d I do? What was my score? Will she ever give me my grade?

It all seems painfully odd to me. I was thoughtful. I took the time. I never take the time, but I took the time this time, and only because it was her.

Some things we’ve wrote about also make a boy wonder: Is she ever looking at the same moon? Did she ever love me? As much as I loved her?

Like a cosmic tuning lever at work, the passage of time loosened some tuning pins that were tightly wound up by trauma, with absolute pitch.

Does she ever wonder boy things like: Will we see each other again? Will we hear each other’s voice once more? Will we die without a last kiss?

I recall being told similar words. A jumping off point, and she knew it. I couldn’t imagine living without her, nor living in so much pain with her.

Relationships are merely agreements between people. Relationships aren’t real. Relationships are social constructs to aid human interaction.

Relationships are fictions based on the concept of mutual consent; which means surrender of some freedoms for the comfort of having a partner.

Something to be said about lying down with someone at night. Legs wrapped around one another, holding each other tight. Feeling loved.

Gently touching her skin while she sleeps, seeing the morning light fill the room. A grey industrial chic-like hue from the overcast outside.

Some people say there are only five basic fears we all share. All other “fears” are manufactured bullshit reactions. Neurotic fears of fears.

Extinction; fear of annihilation. Mutilation; fear of body integrity. Loss of Autonomy; fear of circumstances and/or lack of options. Separation; fear of loss and/or rejection. Ego-Death; fear of humiliation or unworthiness.