I can’t believe I brought it up.

I should’ve stayed quiet. Kept it to myself.

Now they all wanna know the answer.

I gotta put a mask on to play along.

I hate how easily it controls.

How kindness and love make a beggar of me.

I make a courtroom out of every quiet moment.

I like to unpack the years.

Prosecute my self and soul with testimony.

Nobody never ever said to me.

It’s exhausting to always need love.

To hate myself for needing love.

I rehearse you leaving me.

Telling me to fuck off a trillion times or more.

What did I tell you? You dirty rotten cunt.

You unlovable piece of shit.

Now you’ve done it. You’ve told people.

You’re as loud as loud can be.

Now you seek peace. Solace, comfort, consolation.

But why? And why? For why?